New Flour!

“Always giving you more,” notes the box of Tony’s new Macaroni & Cheese Original Crust Pizza. Yes, indeed.

[WN]

Instead of a plain old frozen pizza crust topped with tomato sauce and cheese, Tony replaces the sauce (who needs a hint of vegetable?) with pasta.

Nothing like white-flour pasta on a white-flour crust. Tony must be worried that Americans don’t get enough white flour in their breads, bagels, burritos, cookies, cakes, cupcakes, crackers, cereals, doughnuts, muffins, rolls, scones, soft pretzels, spaghetti, waffles, and other white-flour foods.

And he must be concerned that we don’t get enough cheese, either. Make that “cheese sauce mix” (made of, among other things, water, whey, modified food starch, and a “cheddar cheese blend” of whey, maltodextrin, reduced lactose whey, canola oil, and—finally!—cheddar and blue cheese) combined with a “cheese blend” (mozzarella plus “mozzarella cheese substitute”—mostly water, oil, and cheese solids). And don’t forget the two yellow food dyes. Cheesish goop wouldn’t be cheesish goop without them.

The company claims that a serving is a quarter of the box, but a third is closer to the weight of its own Pizza For One (and half is a more likely portion). Even a third of a box delivers 370 calories, 6 grams of saturated fat, 670 milligrams of sodium, and nary a vegetable.

That Tony. Always giving you more. More white flour, more weight, more artery plaque, more high blood pressure.

Tell Tony’s what you think about their ridiculous pizza: (800) 533-5290

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