“Sweetening the bottom line with milkshakes,” ran the headline in Nation’s Restaurant News in 2016.
“While classic milkshake flavors never go out of style, there continues to be the rise of a full dessert you can sip through a straw,” said the director of marketing for Roy Rogers.
Dessert through a straw. Just what America needs.
Burger King was quick to jump on the shakewagon, with a 720-calorie Froot Loops Shake. And Arby’s is pushing a 960-calorie Large Cookie Butter Shake.
Not to be outdone, Denny’s is offering a Cake Batter Milk Shake. What better way to top off your (1,500-calorie) Slamburger and fries than with “vanilla ice cream blended with cake batter and confetti sprinkles…topped with whipped cream and more confetti sprinkles.”
Now you can have your cake and…um…drink it, too.
Denny’s shake lumbers in at 1,090 calories and 37 grams of saturated fat (a two-day supply). Its estimated 100 grams of added sugar—about 24 teaspoons’ worth—is almost what you’d get in a liter of Coke.
You’d be better off blending a Twinkie with an entire (14 oz.) container of Häagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. Heck, you’d be better off ordering two slices of Denny’s New York Style Cheesecake.
Whatever you do, don’t drink to that.
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