“We are the burger authority, Zagat surveyors agree,” says the menu at Red Robin Gourmet Burgers (470 locations).
Red Robin doesn’t skimp on its Gourmet Burgers. Take the A.1. Peppercorn, which is topped with “hardwood-smoked bacon, melted Pepper-Jack, A.1. Peppercorn Spread, tomatoes and crispy onion straws” (AKA fried breaded onion strips).
But what makes the chain so special is its generosity. First, all “burgers are proudly served with Bottomless Steak Fries,” so you can “proudly eat as many as you want.” (You’ll be bursting with pride.) Second, you can “Make it a Monster” by adding another (6 oz.) beef patty for just $1.99 more (unless you include future medical expenses). Such a bargain.
If your 1,670-calorie “Monster” burger and unlimited 370-calorie servings of fries make you thirsty, Red Robin offers Classic milkshakes (for $3.99). And, of course, you can “make it a Monster Milkshake with a refill tin” for just a buck more. Maybe you’d like a Monster Salted Caramel Milkshake (“A salty, sweet and sinful blend of caramel and Red Hawaiian Sea Salt”). Ka-ching! Here comes 1,500 more calories…and two days’ more sodium.
The entire Monster meal delivers almost two days’ worth of calories (3,540), 3½ days’ saturated fat (69 grams), and four days’ sodium (6,280 milligrams). Roughly half of each comes from the burger plus just one serving of Bottomless Steak Fries and half comes from the shake. And you can blame the shake for most of the estimated 38 teaspoons of added sugar.
It’s like eating seven McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers washed down with a quart of Coke. Want to burn off the calories? You’d need a 12-hour brisk walk.
“Smile, you’re at Red Robin,” says the menu. And after you smile, make sure to burp.